It looks like this here in Indy today (photo shown above). Only it isn't green outside anymore like it was in this earlier Spring photo. It's now rainy, cold, and brown. Dead. Bland. Gray. Depressing.
It is moments like this when I wish I could get in my car and drive '4.5 miles' down the street to the sounds of this:
and this...
I'd like to throw a beach bag in the car and drive '4 minutes' down the street to the feel of this:
and this...
On days like the one here in Indy today, I find myself lost in cravings for the sight of Floridian colors like these:
and this...
and this...
and this...
It is on days like today when I realize how close Christmas is. When I realize that we haven't spent a Christmas in Indiana for the past 3 years. It is always spent here, like this:
This year will be no different. Well...maybe a bit "different."
This past Friday, I had brunch with my sewing employee, Karen. I found myself not wanting the brunch to end. When it did, the tears flowed. I was emotional. On Saturday night, we had dinner with our dear friends. (Tamara and Joe) As we left, it was emotional for me. On Sunday, I rolled thru my hometown of CG. As I rolled out of there, it was very tough in many ways. One way in particular. I was again emotional. Sunday afternoon, we drove to my Dads and had dinner with him and Cathy. (my step-mom) The whole day was surreal. Difficult. Gut wrenching. And yes...you guessed it...I was emotional. Very emotional. We played a good, fun, round of family football in his front yard. It took everything I had to fight back the tears as we laughed together like we always do. It took the strength of a small army to hold in my emotions as I watched Brennen and Kenidi tackling their Papa Tony and Grandma Cathy while letting out shrills of laughter as they all plummeted to the ground. When I pulled out of my Dad's drive way, I was "uncontrollably" emotional. Reality suddenly hit me. After several months of planning, the truth was here - loud and clear. My knees buckled as I went to hug my Dad goodbye. Emotional was no longer the word. Tonight...I will meet 9 of my best girlfriends in downtown Indy for dinner. Nine of the girls who know me best. Nine women who know my inner most secrets. Nine women who support me thru thick and thin. Nine women who not only did I graduate high school with, but whom I gave my heart and soul to a long time ago. I will have dinner with nine girls who are the epitome' of "good times." As one of my besties described the upcoming evening earlier today, she once again confirmed my reality and reminded me that she "was sure there would be tears." The window image with the rain on the outside of the glass at the top of this blog is a good example of the amount of tears I've cried in recent days. Good tears - happy tears - thankful for all of them tears - but very sad tears as well. It's a mixture of emotions. Scary yet exciting. Sad yet happy. Apprehensive yet eager.
Today is Monday. In four days, it will be Friday. After that, four days could easily be changed to '4 minutes or 4.5 miles.' Yes, Christmas will be just a tad bit "different" this year. And like the past few days, I'm sure I will once again be emotional. At times...overly emotional. In the end, life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes. (~Johann Wolfgang Van Goethe)
Half of me is ready and prepared. The other half of me is trembling with separation anxiety like a small infant would endure as she is separated from the womb she once knew. Her world. Her life. Her loves. Today is Monday. In 4 days it will be Friday...
For the first time in over ten years, I traveled thru an airport this morning without my children in tow. It was odd. Strangely unfamiliar actually. When we travel, the kids are always with us. I am missing them already. :( With that oneness though, I am able to whip out my laptop and type in peace though from 30,000 feet in the air. I can't decide which I prefer best...Kenidi climbing all over my laptop when she is present or if her and Brennen not being here with us causes too much "Mommy ache" as I commonly refer to it. Well, yeah...I know which I prefer best. I'd take the climbing across my laptop any day. Wink wink! ;0) As we left Indy this morning (which required a 4am wake up call that I'm not real happy about), it was 42 degrees. At touchdown into the Southwest Florida airport, the temps are forecasted to hit 92 degrees for the high today. Needless to say, it's an "instant summer" kind of thing. It is that instantaneous climate change that I always love when you go from flying out of the Midwest into the Southern tropics of Florida any time of the year. It is also why our family chooses to travel to the Southern most tip of Florida rather than anywhere else within the state. Other locals in Florida are not this warm year round like Naples is. No matter what time of the year, the temperatures never disappoint - nor does the overall forecast. So for that, I am thankful today. I'm enjoying the sunshine even though it will be short lived due to our quick flight in and out.
Thank you for all of your prayers for safe flights as we peruse the friendly skies this morning and later tonight. You ladies know how much I always appreciate those travel prayers. So...until tomorrows update...enjoy your day and be safe. Details to come...
